If you’re not practicing conscious dating, you might pretend to like camping to match your date’s interests, though you’d rather “Netflix and chill.”

Or while mirroring your potential partner to build attraction, you look calm, cool, and collected, but deep down, you’d prefer to let loose.

A young woman with long dark brown hair on the path to finding true love through conscious dating wearing a crown made of pink roses; she is embracing herself in nature.

Faking it takes energy and effort. You can feel guilty for living a lie. If you drop the mask by mistake, the date you dig might eventually uncover the truth.

After another broken connection, you can return to scrolling profiles, hoping for another match or, in frustration, stop searching altogether.

What I’ve Learned

Being authentic weeds out the wrong matches. And it helps us look beyond words and appearances and focus instead on people’s actions.

Part of this philosophy stems from my experiences falling for narcissistic and unavailable men. At first, narcissists and other “dark triad” types hide their true selves; they seem nice, yet they lie and manipulate behind the scenes.

After you get to know them, their masks tend to drop, and their actions show who they are.

When we act against our values or beliefs, it seems deceptive and builds mistrust and resentment. When you’re secure in showing who you are and in expressing your desires (without playing games), you filter mismatches — including those with personality disorders — and save everyone’s time. It’s a more honest approach.

Who This Site Is and Isn’t For

This blog aims to help people age 30 and up with limited romantic experience or who don’t practice conscious dating find true love through self-acceptance. If you’re tired of game playing or have tried expert advice without success, my approach, which focuses on self-nurturing and awareness, might be for you. It’s a place where you don’t need to fit in — just show up as you are.

But this philosophy — and what works for me — can’t and won’t help everyone, especially if you prefer traditional advice about playing hard to get or mastering “rules” or perfection. If you don’t believe people who work on themselves can grow and change for the better, this advice also might not jibe with you.

And if you struggle with intimacy, dating fatigue, or underlying issues like clinical depression, my advice might not be enough. And that’s OK because we’re all dealing with different issues and walking unique paths.

Join Us in Finding True Love Through Conscious Dating

I don’t pretend to have all the answers. And I might fail. But I hope that through this experiment, we can support ourselves despite the challenges, testing ideas and learning as we go.

I’ll share what works (and what doesn’t), so we can figure it out together.

I invite you to subscribe to my blog to track my progress through taking a free quiz to see if you’re dating as your true self — or holding back without realizing it.

You’ll discover:

  • The habits holding you back to help you form deeper, more compatible connections
  • How authenticity can help you filter for the right matches
  • Where you might be hiding your true self so you can date with more confidence and self-awareness.

Because one day, you might meet that special someone who aligns with your values, purpose, and goals. And when you do, I hope they fall for you — not the version you thought they wanted.

Are you ready to join the journey to love?

Take the Free Test

Discover if You’re an Authentic Dater

Michelle Troutman
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